What a mess!
YU bulletin boards leave student body baffled
a satirical piece by Tyler LaRose
When the Yellowjacket Union officially opened its doors last year, students and faculty alike felt as if a new era of campus life had begun. The new building has offered students a place to socialize, study and even grab a great meal at just about any time of day. Yes, it seems that the Union is just as utopian is it is energy-efficient.
Unless you want to post something on one of its bulletin boards.
The YU contains over 200 square feet of bulletin board space. To the unsuspecting student, this seems like plenty of surface area for any paper flyer that one would wish to tack up and have read by countless students.
Unfortunately, nearly every square inch of cork bulletin board in the YU has been covered—and then re-covered—many times over. Such actions have led to bulletin boards that resemble paper graveyards, and students are feeling left-out as a result.
“How am I supposed to know which extra-curricular activities to attend, when I can only read half the words on each flyer?” complained freshman Nick Grubbe. “It’s like staring into a herd of zebras; you can’t tell where one flyer starts and another begins. Someone needs to straighten all of this out,” he added.
For decades, posting paper flyers on bulletin boards has been the primary means of intra-student communication at the University of Wisconsin - Superior. Nearly every legitimate club, sports team or campus event has been advertised via bulletin board at one point or another.
The lack of available bulletin space poses serious threats to the delicate ecosystem that is college life, and the Student Government is looking into solutions that could alleviate our worries.
A Pamphlet Oversight Committee has been appointed by the university to review the YU’s lack of bulletin boards. The student council has proposed several ideas that they believe could solve the problem.
The most popular idea that has been brought before the council is one that would require students to apply for a permit in order to post anything on any YU bulletin boards.
A Student Government spokesperson commented on the newly-proposed law, “The permits are designed to ensure that only the best flyers are tacked up.” He then added, “The application process will be politically motivated, ensuring that it will be essentially impossible to get anything posted.
Other possible actions that the Student Government has discussed taking are:
One proposal was to simply add more bulletin boards to the Yellowjacket Union. This idea was quickly shot down.
“Sure it sounds like a good idea. But can we be sure that adding more bulletin boards would help? Hell, it might just make the problem worse,” argued the spokesperson.
The students know that reform is needed, and are eager to get their advertising space back.
“I’ll finally be able to decide whether to join the Barbecue Club or a yoga class next semester. No more information overload for me!” proclaimed a student, who proceeded to log onto Twitter.
Unless you want to post something on one of its bulletin boards.
The YU contains over 200 square feet of bulletin board space. To the unsuspecting student, this seems like plenty of surface area for any paper flyer that one would wish to tack up and have read by countless students.
Unfortunately, nearly every square inch of cork bulletin board in the YU has been covered—and then re-covered—many times over. Such actions have led to bulletin boards that resemble paper graveyards, and students are feeling left-out as a result.
“How am I supposed to know which extra-curricular activities to attend, when I can only read half the words on each flyer?” complained freshman Nick Grubbe. “It’s like staring into a herd of zebras; you can’t tell where one flyer starts and another begins. Someone needs to straighten all of this out,” he added.
For decades, posting paper flyers on bulletin boards has been the primary means of intra-student communication at the University of Wisconsin - Superior. Nearly every legitimate club, sports team or campus event has been advertised via bulletin board at one point or another.
The lack of available bulletin space poses serious threats to the delicate ecosystem that is college life, and the Student Government is looking into solutions that could alleviate our worries.
A Pamphlet Oversight Committee has been appointed by the university to review the YU’s lack of bulletin boards. The student council has proposed several ideas that they believe could solve the problem.
The most popular idea that has been brought before the council is one that would require students to apply for a permit in order to post anything on any YU bulletin boards.
A Student Government spokesperson commented on the newly-proposed law, “The permits are designed to ensure that only the best flyers are tacked up.” He then added, “The application process will be politically motivated, ensuring that it will be essentially impossible to get anything posted.
Other possible actions that the Student Government has discussed taking are:
- Instituting a size limit on the sheet of paper (no larger than 8”x10”)
- All paper must be white (using brightly-colored paper to attract attention is unfair)
- Due to being a fire hazard, all flyers must be at least 6 inches off the floor
- Font restrictions: nothing larger than 18 point font. No bold font allowed!
- Only one flyer per organization allowed per bulletin board
- Flyers will be arranged in orderly columns to avoid clutter
One proposal was to simply add more bulletin boards to the Yellowjacket Union. This idea was quickly shot down.
“Sure it sounds like a good idea. But can we be sure that adding more bulletin boards would help? Hell, it might just make the problem worse,” argued the spokesperson.
The students know that reform is needed, and are eager to get their advertising space back.
“I’ll finally be able to decide whether to join the Barbecue Club or a yoga class next semester. No more information overload for me!” proclaimed a student, who proceeded to log onto Twitter.
Flyers often contian catchy, attention-getting words to stand out in the crowd.
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