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Student Government: A retrospective

Posted 10/13/2011
a satirical piece by Tyler LaRose

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The Student Government Association, which up until this week had several vacancies and was refraining from making major decisions, held  supplementary elections last Monday and Tuesday to permanently fill its open seats.  Let’s take a look back at some of the decisions that the SGA did make during its first few weeks:

September 8: With only two senators present, the senate unanimously voted to officially make every day “Super Awesome Fun Day” and hand out t-shirts.

September 13: SUFAC, the group which allocates money to all campus organizations, allocated 60% of the UWS’s total revenue to A’viands, demanding that tacos, chicken patties, hamburgers and sloppy Joes be served every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Enjoy!

September 20: With only four senate seats filled, the tie-break vote for the 2-2 decision on whether or not to continue mopping McCaskill Hall was cast by a guy printing something outside of the SGA office.

October 3: The Legislative Affairs office decided not to nominate anybody for the supplementary elections, because they weren’t really sure what “legislative affairs” meant.

October 4: SOAP was able to triple their budget for the 2011-2012 academic year, when three SOAP members and no SUFAC officers showed up to the budget vote.

October 10: A committee was formed to determine how to repair everything that the anarchists damaged during the five weeks that Student Government was in shambles.


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Art in the park. Photo by Alyssa Palmer

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