Movie review: New Moon

11/23/2009
By Dan Pickles
Staff Writer

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

Directed By:                  Chris Weitz
Starring:                        Kristin Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Rated:                           PG-13
Run-Time:                     130 Mins.

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve gone to see the new Twilight movie.

Undoubtedly, some of you are wondering why that’s such a big deal. Let me explain.

I’m not what you would think of as the target market for a movie like New Moon. I’m much older, first of all, and much nerdier. I’m kind of chubby, and I wear ill-fitting clothes. I don’t like emo, and I forget to shave on a regular basis.

To make a long story short, I stuck out like a sore thumb; and to compound matters, I was all by myself.    

Yes, you read that right. Not only was I the creepy, old guy at New Moon, but I was also “that guy”: the guy that goes to movies alone.

Need a visual aid? Okay, I can do visual aids. Picture this: You’re walking into Abercrombie and Fitch one day to buy some new leather pants (and let’s face it, who hasn’t done that lately?). Standing in the back of the store is a chubby guy in a Gwar t-shirt taking sips out of an open can of Dinty Moore beef stew. Naturally, you would find this man odd - no one can blame you for that. That guy was me at Twilight this Saturday - but I digress.

The synopsis of the movie is as follows: Edward Cullen and his family have decided to leave the small community of Forks because he feels that Bella is in danger as long as he’s there. The first half of the story focuses on Bella’s sadness at Edward’s departure and her budding friendship with Jacob Black. To discuss further would be to spoil, so I’ll leave it at that. There’s also a few werewolves tossed in for good measure. Okay, synopsis concluded.

There are some things that bother me about this movie, but to properly explain them, we should talk a bit about my favorite subject: horror films.

New Moon uses two tried and true horror-movie archetypes: vampires and werewolves. Though the movie isn’t, in fact, a horror movie, I feel it’s important to take a look at these creatures in order to better understand what they mean.

According to film critic Robin Wood, horror films are horrific because of the various monsters in them - what he calls “the Other.” The function of the Other is to threaten the patriarchal structure of our society, thereby scaring us in the process. The reason we enjoy that horror, in Wood’s estimation, is because we secretly desire to see patriarchal society torn apart. This is a theory that I find very insightful; I hope you do, as well.

So what happens when you take the Other and make them the standard for which the main character of the film (a character which we, as viewers, are typically asked to identify with) aspires? Bella certainly wants to be a vampire; she says as much at several points throughout the film, only to be repeatedly denied by her vampiric lover, Edward Cullen.

This is the point where I start to get disgusted by the movie.

In New Moon it’s not the vamps or werewolves that represent the Other - it’s Bella Swan, and through her, us. The drama we are asked to experience has nothing to do with having our blood sucked, or being torn apart by a giant wolf - it’s the fear of not being accepted; it’s the fear of being denied entry to an exclusive society that we idolize. In the case of Bella, it’s the vampires who assimilate her into their midst without actually elevating her to a level of equality.

The filmmakers would have us feel crushed at Edward’s denial of Bella. This is the dramatic essence of their film, after all. They want us to pray for Edward to grant Bella the sweet relief of allowed conformity.

In a world where drama like this succeeds (a success largely accounted for by the rampant insecurity of its target market, I might add), we don’t need horror movies. Reality is horrifying enough.